A Piece From "Building A Relationship With God"

 Hello Everybody! I know it has been a minute since I lasted post but fear not! I have not stopped blogging. God has brought in a new venture, I am writing a book!! I am really excited to share with you all a piece of what I have written so far. I hope you like it and I pray you're inspired by it.

 Most of us believe we know what’s best for us. We know how to do everything. Don’t believe me? I have the perfect analogy.

  Its like trying to put a bike together. You think just because you’ve seen a bike before and rode one; you know how to put one together. So you throw the directions to the side. You began to put this bike together. You’re shoving together parts because they “look” like they are in the right place. You finally get the bike standing and you try to ride it. You take a stroll around the block and the whole thing falls apart. You get frustrated but you continue to put this bike together. You ask people what they think about the model of the bike and if they have any suggestions. You try and ride the bike a second time and it falls apart yet again. Now you’re really mad. You feel like nobody knows what they are talking about, only you know what’s best for you and *your* bike. You put the bike together for a third time and you are faced with the same results. The bike is in front of you in pieces. You’re upset because you have put your all into this. You FINALLY decide that you should look back at the direction. You realize that you started putting the bike together all wrong. You had the wrong screws, the front tire was supposed to be in the back; you just realize that you had no idea what you were doing in the first place. But because you *thought* you knew you jumped in and ruined a perfectly good bike and wasted a bunch of time and effort.

 It’s the same way with God. God has all the directions all the answer that we need but because we feel like we *know everything*...we don’t have to go back and ask him; “God, is this your plan for me? Am I even ready to do this? God how do I even do this?” Then we wonder why it won’t work. We sit there and ask God to mend and fix a mess we made, a mess that could have been avoided. Hebrews 13:5 (NKJV) says, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”  So why do we think that God will lead us in the wrong direction? We as Christians are so busy trying to be a friend to God and have God as our friend and we aren’t even qualified to call ourselves that. We aren’t even on that level with God. 

Change My Identity

My favorite song at the moment is Identity by James Fortune & Fiya. The words of that song is my testimony. My favorite part is when they make it personal,
"Oh Lord this is me. I'm asking you to please, change my identity. I wannabe more like you. I'm asking you to please, change my identity."
I want God to change my identity so I can be like his own image. I love this song!!

And Then There Was None

Sometimes the people that you really can't imagine your life without, are the main ones God is trying to pull you way from.

My Prayer to God

 God I thank you for everything you are doing and have done in my life. I know You aren't done with me yet but I am praising you for where I am today. Even though I had to let things go and You had to remove some people and things out of my life I am grateful! Thank you God for choosing me to do your will. With you God I know ALL things are possible. No matter the obstacles that may come my way I am going to stand firm on your word. Thank you God for forgiving me. Thank you God for being there for me. Thank you God for being my protection. My healer. Thank you God for being my EVERYTHING!! God, you don't make any mistakes. I know everything in my life from this day forward has purpose. 2012 is that year :)

Encouraging Words

Today I gave my testimony in front of my church. It felt good to get out my story. It even touched some people who had similar stories to mine. Whenever I talk about God my skin gets warm sometimes I literally think I'm " on fire for the Lord." lol
My Pastor talked about how she read my blog and how it even encouraged her. I was almost taken aback because when I write they are my thoughts. The things that God puts on my heart to share. I guess I didn't actually think my words were that strong.
"Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, Now, I have put my words in your mouth. "( Jeremiah 1:9-10)
God has placed his words in my mouth and I am going to continue to write and spread his word.

Fulfilling My Purpose

My goodness the days seem to be flying by! I had no idea that it was Wednesday already. But today is bible study day and I'm excited. Over with youth we are reading First Samuel. I've been breaking it down and writing notes to make sure that everybody understands. Our youth leader asks two questions every time we are reading the bible, " What is God saying? How does it apply to me today?" So I want to be ready lol.
Today my Pastor texted me and told me to ask my mother to call her. I told her I would. So my mom calls me back to tell me,"Pastor said she read your blog and she just cried and cried and cried. She said it was really good and she wants you to give your testimony tonight." I was so happy and thankful that she took time out of her schedule to read. I haven't really told anybody at church yet that I write but I had intentions to tell them tonight, but it looks like somebody beat me to the punch lol.
My purpose is not to be praised or anything for what I write because I'm just doing what God said. But it does feel good to know that people take the time to read and is touched in some way. God is doing a great thing in my life. I'm so happy that He choose me. It's a wonderful feeling.

When God Calls You Higher..

Today was a pretty easy going day. I realized that God is moving me away from pretty much everybody. They told me that this walk that I would take is going to be a lonely one and at times I'm going to feel like I don't have any friends. And that's exactly how I feel right now. It's crazy because even though I feel lonely I don't have the desire to wanna talk to anybody or even be around anyone. But it just crossed my mind that, " I am really alone." with the exception of God of course.
I think the reason that I've come to terms with being alone is because I prayed this simple prayer, " God, I just wanna be ok. I just want to know that no matter where you take me, I just wanna be ok."
God hasn't let me down yet. I know he won't let me down. When you fully put your trust in God all the things that seem like they used to matter; they don't anymore. All the people that you thought you needed and wanted around; you don't even miss them. When God calls you higher you have to answer and go. This is one trip I'm taking that doesn't require any packing. God is supplying all my needs.

This Is Just A Test!

Since I've been doing what God wants of me I haven't questioned anything. When God told me to come home, I came home. When God told me to fast, I fast. I haven't questioned the will of God YET!
For someone to question the plan that God has for me, it just makes me mad! For so long I've been doing things my way, going to school, hanging out with whoever I want. And nobody questioned that. Now as soon as I get on track with God and do what HE wants people have the audacity to question that. "Well how long did God say you were supposed to wait until you go back to school? Did God give you a number? Well what are you gonna do? What do you do all day?"
"If you decide for God living life of God-worship l, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body"
-Matthew 6:25 MSG Bible

Last time I checked I am doing this walk because this is what God has ORDERED. God gave his only son as a SACRIFICE. So why can't I give God this? Why can't I give God control of my life? I have put my trust in God he will never leave me or forsake me! If I put my life in man's hand it will only be a disappointment.
Don't be concerned about what God is doing in my life, what are you asking him to do in yours?

Overwhelming Revelations!!

Today has been so on point for me! Since I've gotten my life back with Christ my life has been so much better!! Revelation! I thank God for everything he is doing with me and for me. 
 In bible study Wednesday my pastor told us to read the book of Hebrews and ask God for revelation. So I began to read and I asked God, I put my bible down and went to bed. And do you know the next day God,  with his marvelous self began to reveal all these things to me! 
 I'm such an emotional person (even though I try not to show) I wanted to just break down and cry and rejoice. Then one of my readers, Ms Tamara, told me that her daughter wanted to meet me and THAT was like the final straw. I was so overwhelmed I felt the tears  build up in my eyes lol the whole 9! It may not seem like much to some, but that just gave me confirmation that I am doing what I was called to do! God is so AWESOME!! This just goes to show you that the plan you had for your life is NOTHING compared to the plan that God has!! So S/O to Krystal because she doesn't know it but she has already been a blessing in my life! 

Young Fly & Saved

 I just got so excited at 1:26 am!! I just discovered Young Fly & Saved! YFS is "movement is a youth based min­istry designed to inspire, influ­ence and unite by bridg­ing the gap between the streets and the church through music, mis­sion and ministry."
 This is exactly what I need! This is the kind of people I need to be around! They just gave me a boost to continue to write and share my testimonies with you. Even if no one reads it I have a job to do and that is to spread God's word! I will not hide or be ashamed to show that I am on fire for God!! I am now apart of the movement!!

A Modern Day Jeremiah

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; 
      Before you were born I sanctified you; 
      I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” 
                Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV


Keeps playing over and over in my head. Sitting in Panera Bread I found myself drowning in my own thoughts. I asked my mother, "How come everybody else goes through this in their 20's and 30's? I'm only 19, why do I have to go through these things now? She replied, "Because God wants you to give that control that you love so much to Him." 
  When I was a little girl I had dreams of being a preacher or a missionary. Then I wanted to be a professional cheerleader, then a singer, actress, sports broadcaster, sports agent, and finally an entrepreneur (Talk about all over the place). I just wanted to be famous. I wanted my name to be in lights. I just knew that I was supposed to be somebody important! 
 When I was 12 years old at summer camp a minister came and he prophesied to me that, "With my voice I would touch thousands. I have a gift." Now this was in the time where I wanted to be a singer so I just knew I was going to be singing to a packed audience.
 That wasn't what God had planned for me either. When I was going to the 10th grade I started hanging out with some of the wrong people. You know when you're young you just wanna do what everybody around you is doing...go wherever they go, and say whatever they say. But at night when I lay in my bed, guilt would set in. I knew I shouldn't have been doing some of the things that I did but at the time I just wanted to be 15. I knew I was different. 
 When I started going to the church I attend now, "Life Changers Christian Fellowship", That was the first time I felt God. I knew he was there, I knew that I was supposed to be there. I joined that day. When I went up with my mother to join that was the first time anybody had ever prayed for me. You know you, you see it on TV when they pray for the people and they are immediately slain and fall to the ground, I didn't want that to be me. lol. So I had it made up in my mind that no matter how hard they prayed for me I wasn't going to fall. Just as I lifted my hands, I and hit the floor. I began to holler out and cry out to God. At that moment my spirit was stronger than my flesh. I guess we were just tired. And let me tell you, I still try and fix myself to say, "I'm not going in there and falling out today. I'm tired." Every time, I find myself laid right on out lol.
 The older I got the more it seemed like the will of God and the world was at a tug of war. I knew that God wanted me. I knew that I was suppose to lead teenagers and young girls to Him. But I didn't think I was ready. I was going through that, "Why me God? What if they don't listen? What if I let them down? What if I let You down?" 
“ Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth.” (Jeremiah 1:6) I just couldn't understand what God wanted with me and why he wouldn't leave me alone. So I began to seek God. I prayed and prayed and prayed. And to me that got old because I didn't exactly know what I was praying for. This was around my senior year of high school. My Pastor, Mary Wilson asked the seniors where we wanted to go to school. At the time I had dreams of going to Johnson C. Smith in Charlotte. She looked at me and said, "No you need to stay home. YOU need to stay under the covering. YOU are different from everybody else. YOU can't go off like everybody else." In my mind I was like, "Now what is so different about me that I have to stay in Jacksonville?" So another Sunday she asked me, "So where have you decided to go for school?" My mind had changed I was now interested in Benedict College in Columbia SC. She shook her head, "No you need to go and apply for UNF and stay home. You have a call on your life. You can't leave." 
 That Sunday I spoke in tongues for the very first time. Once I started I couldn't stop. I laid there what felt like all day on the alter with my Pastor to my right and my mother to my left. I kept having these encounters with God, in church, at home, EVERYWHERE. I would wake up in the middle of the night feeling a pain. Not a physical pain, more of a  spiritual pain. I would pray and cry and pray and cry, then the pain would go away. 
 One day I got tired of running. My spirit was tired of being apart of the world so I got more into church. When I had preached my first sermon, I had had a taste of the Word and I wanted more. I began to go to Minister's in Training classes on Saturday's and even Women Ministry. That lasted about a good month. Then back to the world I went. I graduated and enrolled in Santa Fe College in Gainesville, Fl. My Pastor told me that Gainesville wasn't far and that I could come home whenever I liked. And I did. I hated Gainesville, and everything about it and I was miserable. When I would come home my Pastor told me, "You want to come home willingly, because if God has to bring you back it won't be anything good." I was always told that you never want God to pull you because that is a fight you won't win. I wrestled with God for about 4 years until I finally realized I need to come home and let God have control of my life. 
 January 1, 2012, I was in church and it was a young girl to me left leaning over with her face in her hands. My mother told me to go pray for her. It was one of those days where my flesh just wanted to sit back and enjoy service. So my response to her was, "There's nothing wrong with her. She's asleep." She gave me one of those looks like, "Go Minister to Her." So I went. She was a young girl, 17 years-old.  I began to pray for her. Not just any prayer. I began to tell her some of the things that I went through the hardships I felt. Everything! I told her if she needed anybody I was there, if anybody understood her, I understood. Then they called me and another young lady up to the front to pray for other young girls. After we were done they prayed for us.  I began to shake and cry and I felt things I had never felt before. I still remember the things that Ms. Bridgette said to me, "You will be a woman of God. A mighty Prophetess. Your footsteps are now aligned with the word of God." And then it dawned on me how can I be there for those young girls if I'm not there? How can I do the will of God and not be in the house of God? That day I started off 2012 with the decision to come back home. I was tired of running and I realized that it was people depending on me. I was called to be A Mighty Prophetess for the Lord. I am Young, Saved, and very much Anointed. A Modern Day Jeremiah.