For starters let me just say that I can not even remember where I was, who I was with, or what I was doing to bring in 2012 (lol). I have text so many people and asked, "Hey, was I with you to bring in 2012?" and all of my close friends replied, "No". Honestly, I was probably in the bed because if I wasn't at church I have no idea where I could've been.
I have learned so much this year. I've had many cries, many laughs, many moments where I cried out to God because I didn't know how to go on, and the list goes on and on. I can truly say that I am nothing without God. I have learned so much about myself through God. He opened my eyes to things that were right in front of me but because I had no desire to know the truth I was forever in the shadows of lies.
I'd have to say one of the most important things that I've learned is how to be content. Philippians 4:11 states, " Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am in to be content:" Now this may seem like an easy task to some people but this was one of the hardest things for me. When I was younger I struggled with low self esteem. I was overweight and I didn't find myself to be beautiful at all. The older I got it kinda faded away but every now and again it would come back. When it did come back I would feel so depressed. I felt like I needed other people to make me happy, or to validate that I was beautiful. I was tired of feeling ths way. I knew that the only way I could learn to love myself was by asking God to help me and He did. Until you make peace with who you are, you will never be content with what you have!
Another lesson that I learned is: Letting Go
I never realized how many situations I was actually holding on to until I started really talking to God. Not just praying but I mean having full conversations with Him. When our relationship started getting stronger the walls started coming down. I felt like I was breathing for the very first time. I saw things in a whole new light. I didn't know how much forgiving someone was beneficial to my growth. Once I forgave I was able to move on and close chapters that I thought I had dealt with months ago. A little thing I learned to tell if you have really moved on from a situation is how you feel when someone brings it up. If you get that little tingle in your stomach and you feel like you're gonna be sick, you haven't released it. That's what I was doing with so many situations that I was in. I would tell myself that I was over it but still have an uneasy feeling inside. If you cant wish that person well then you have not moved on.
Once I began to let go, God started to open so many door for me and brought into my life so many people of purpose.
I know a lot of people are saying, "I'm not changing. Ima be the same me I was in 2012." Yeah all that is good or whatever but I don't want to be same the person I was in 2012. I want to be better. So I'm not going to make any resolutions (seeing as half of them won't get done lol) I am making Declarations.
I Declare that I will:
- Always Keep God First
- Be a better Woman of God.
- hear from God clearer
- live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him
- remain pure
- priortize my time better
- Stay focused!!
- Drive more (lol)
- Stick to my diet
- Live a healthier lifestyle
- Be more approachable
- Dress classier
- Make A's every semester
Have a blessed and safe New Years!! See you in 2013!
~Zanda
Check out some memorable moments of 2012
